Emotional Responses
Angry/Intimidating
A person with an angry or intimidating emotional response may become, aggressive, abusive, threatening, loud or insistent.
This may result in an instinctive anger or shock reaction in yourself: How dare you?
Strategic Response:
- Bring calm and control to an intense situation
- Allow person to ventilate
- Do not interrupt
- Let them exhaust themselves of their emotion
- Do not take comments personally
- Adopt the opposite posture
- Always maintain a professional manner
- Once their anger is exhausted, provide all relevant options to be considered
- Don’t limit options because of their behaviour towards you
Desperate
A person who is presenting a desperate reaction may be agitated, anxious, tearful or insisting.
This may result in an instinctive fear or anxious response in yourself: I need to do something!
Strategic Response:
- Contain, listen, empathise and support
- Reflect back to demonstrate understanding
- Identify their needs
- Explore and develop options with them
- Agree to some actions that can be taken by both of you
- Engage a third party to become involved:
- A team leader for you
- A relative or friend for the person where appropriate
Arrogant
A person who is presenting an arrogant response may present as condescending, insulting, belittling and controlling.
This may promote feelings of threat, fear, incompetence and outrage in yourself: How dare you?
Strategic Response:
- Remember that someone with an arrogant response is usually performing for someone else
- Always maintain a professional manner
- Limit engagement; do not swap insults
- Allow person to ventilate
- Re-focus person on appropriate options and attempt to deal with and resolve the issue
- Request time to clarify
- Ask for things in writing
- Consult your management to clarify available options and strategies to be used
Alienated/Frustrated
A person that presents as alienated or frustrated may be so due to being shut down after trying to do the right thing. This may leave them uncooperative as they feel let down.
This may promote feelings of guilt in yourself: How could this have happened?
Strategic Response:
- Use a partnership approach
- Adopt a helpful, facilitating stance
- Make them feel valued
- Show empathy – seek to understand where they’re coming from
- Promote some positive options
Manipulative
A person that presents as manipulative may shift their behaviors, become controlling and play multiple parties against each other. They may also choose to only hear what suits them.
This may promote feelings of anxiety, frustration and weariness in yourself: Here we go again.
Strategic Response:
- Clarify expectations
- Clarify boundaries
- Clearly document conversation for future reference
- Where necessary, engage support for yourself after the conversation has finished
